The empowering feeling of being Lost

Ok, so I’m at a lost place in life. I’m sure a lot of people get lost from time to time, and we have to find the way through our path for that time and season in our lives. I got married and started having children young, and I decided to commit and dedicate my life to the people and situations that needed me the most. I made sacrifice after sacrifice and somehow forgot about myself in the process. My children (all but one) are grown and out of the house. Now, I am left to figure out the direction of my life, and I must say, I just feel lost sometimes.

I have come to realize through my optimistic beliefs that lost is not a bad thing. This can happen to anyone who takes their eyes off of their prior goals and commitments for the greater good for an unselfish sacrifice. The beautiful part of being lost means you are in charge of the direction of your growth. You are also in charge of the speed at which you go in pursuit of finding your personal path. When I first realized I was feeling lost, I began to read books that empowered me to grow, and I began to recreate the beautiful, authentic person I imagined myself to be. As I began to grow, I realized that this new person was nothing like the old one, but it felt great, and I loved it. I was addicted to seeking out anything that would help me grow. Even though I was okay with this new person I was becoming, I began to realize that I didn’t even have a target or goal; I was just learning and everything at this point. I was really just aimlessly learning anything that helped relieve my symptoms of feeling lost. I found that having goals and a clear picture of where you are going is always helpful when navigating life. I finally began asking myself, How do I move forward and grow even more with the knowledge and life lessons I have learned so far?

“How do you hit a target you do not have? ~ Zig Zigglar

So let me tell you a story since Zig Zigglar and his quotes have helped shape the last 5 years of my life.

I was about 5 months into my quit-smoking cigarette journey, and I was on my way to a job that I despised to my core. I would get sick just pulling into the parking lot. I was going nowhere here, and I knew it, but I was doing what I needed to do so I could pay my bills. I know a lot of people who have been at this point of being sick and tired and over it on every level, but we do what we've gotta do, right? When I decided to quit smoking, I knew I had to change my entire mindset because, at this point, it wasn’t just a monkey on my back; it had become a full-grown gorilla. I was willing to do whatever I needed to reach my destination of being smoke-free, even if I had to fight a grown gorilla. I listened to motivational videos nonstop in my car because that is what fueled my drive to continue my journey. I was traveling to work one morning, crying my eyeballs out because I didn’t know where I was going in life and I was scared out of my mind. Previous me always had a goal, but it always revolved around other people’s life schedules. I was also still struggling and hanging on for dear life with not smoking anymore. I was on my way up a bridge on a hill when I was listening to a motivational YouTube with Zig Ziglar, and at the very top of the hill he said, “You go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will always be able to see further.” That right there is what put life back into my body and kept me growing because, at that very moment, I could absolutely see further! I certainly cried harder at that light bulb moment because I could literally see further and it was absolutely beautiful. I was able to see so far. Sunshine, blue skies, and green trees were my outline for my soon-to-be future. I felt a calm that I had never felt before in the midst of tragedy. affirming that it will all be just fine. I took that quote as confirmation that I would find my target that day. I confirmed to not be afraid because once you go as far as you can see, you will always be able to see further.

That day, when I heard that quote, something clicked in me and gave me a new understanding of the work I really needed to do in myself, even while I was lost. I began to think that when I get to the place of being as far as I can see, I want to have strengthened myself, focused myself, leveled up myself, grounded myself, and done that hard interwork on myself that I knew had to be done. I did not want to get to that place of being as far as I could see only to be in a place of almost giving up and my vision blurry from my tears. I also understood that this is not going to happen until I make a decision to wipe my eyes and press forward. I knew I had to put in the actual physical work because, from research, I knew that physical movement would change things. When we can harness our integrity through the hard times, it gives us better clarity on the interpretation of the wisdom that will unfold once we overcome. If we can do the hard work when it’s hard, then imagine how easy it will be to stay consistent with self-growth when the smooth times hit. This was the first day I began to cry but still did the work anyway. I cried, hurt, and dealt with pain for months to come, but my resilience was on fire, and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from here on out.

What I have come to see in life is that no matter your pain, it’s about the attitude with which you endure it. Are you grateful? Are you consistent? Are you mindful? Is your integrity in line? Let’s decide to go through as courageous, encouraged, bold, optimistic, accountable, resilient, happy, disciplined, and committed. The choice is yours, but just imagine what life will be like on the other side if we decide to go through like a Spartan warrior, pressing and pushing forward without hesitation. Dominating anything in your way! Imagine how strong and empowered you will be in your pursuit of finding your personal path. I remind myself that I am figuring out my life, and it’s okay to be lost as long as I’m on a constant journey to achieve my idea of greatness. Only I can see the vision of where I desire to be, so it’s my responsibility to get me there. I’m sure there will be help along the way, but ultimately it’s your life, and no one will push as hard for you as you will.

When the feeling of being lost creeps into my mind as self-sabotaging thoughts, I begin to embrace my alone time more. Feeling confident in the midst of being alone is comforting to my heart and brings peace to my soul. It hugs me like a warm blanket and soothes me like a hot cup of tea on a cold winter morning. Some of my greatest changes or deepest epiphanies came from being alone. While being alone, I got a chance to unwrap some really hard things that were needed so I could continue on my path of achieving clarity and growth. Our future selves are waiting for us to step into authenticity in the now. Being alone is scary, but again, we must be scared and do it anyway. Be tired and do it anyway. Cry and do it anyway. Be on the verge of giving up but doing it anyway. Getting to know myself was one of the hardest things I have ever done because it forced me to see the good and the bad. It gave me a chance to analyze the character traits that needed to stay and the ones that needed to go. I know now that we will never find who we truly are until we can be alone and go deep within.

One thing I promised myself was that I would go through my journey and process things at my own pace. It’s my life, and I will do this my way. I promised I would not be rushed or slowed down while I was searching my path. I promised I would push down distractions so I could see clearly with my own eyes. I understand that sometimes, while we are lost, people may think that we need help or that loss is a bad thing. The concept of loss is optimistic in my mind. When I am lost, I am searching for my heart’s greatest desire and discovering my needs. The fact that I am taking the time to get to know myself more is the most exciting thing in the world. Affirming who I am with no distractions. Learning my wants and needs. My yes, and my no My tolerations and non-negotiables I am learning to love myself and set boundaries in my life. When I am lost, I learn more about myself, and I always see the raw, real version of who and where I am. Knowing where you are helps cultivate change in the direction you need or desire. How can you grow if you don’t even know where you are?

I heard a motivational video on YouTube by Eddie Pinero, and he said “Going through the obstacle IS the path”. The bottom line is that we all must go through obstacles because that is where the lessons, knowledge, and wisdom lie. No matter if we're crying, sad, alone, discouraged, or lost, we still must go through it. You are responsible for your life’s growth and projection of where you want to go. Let’s commit to being in constant pursuit of growth, no matter how right now looks.

I will never forget that day, driving to the top of that hill, when a quote changed my life forever

that said, “You go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will always be able to see further.”